Just watched: Attack on Titan

Giants attacking people. If you think about it, it's difficult to come up with an older storyline. Ever since people gathered round to tell tales, it seems that the idea of a giant who eats people has been a recurring theme, with Jack and the Beanstalk being perhaps the most famous.

And so to Attack on Titan (I’ve no idea why it isn’t “Titans” since there’s more than one) a film in which humanity is under attack from hordes of giants in a dystopian future. No one knows where they’re from, and there’s only one way to kill them: attack the back of the neck.

It looks good, and has a nice atmosphere and at 1 hour 38 minutes, it doesn’t feel too long. Mind you, there is a sequel coming out in a month or so. Unfortunately, after that, the compliments quickly dry up.

The characters are awful, with dialogue apparently taken from an old 8-bit role playing game. The hero is a tortured loner, who loses a loved one early on, is not taken seriously by his peers, but becomes their saviour. Any storyline that doesn’t involve the hero, and might actually include some relationships is quickly finished off by having somebody die. This way the writer neatly avoids having to write any proper dialogue that real people might actually say.

In fact, during a lengthy battle scene, the hero meets another character that he’s argued with in the past and my heart sank. The words “Oh God, they’re not going to start talking, are they?” actually crossed my mind.

An early glimpse of what I suppose is the final boss

The film's not quite bad enough for me to say you should avoid it. The directing is lively and dull bits don’t last too long. And, if I'm being honest, I'll probably watch the sequel. I wouldn’t suggest that you ask your friends round to watch this film as part of a fun evening, though. Unless you don’t really like them.